Recently I’ve been having this odd roller coaster of
emotions, turning as fast as a roller coaster, and lasting just as long. The
only way I can describe it as is from going from blissfully accepting to overly
conscious. I walk through the enchanting streets of Sevilla and it feels like
I’ve been here weeks, maybe months. I know which café to go to in the morning
to get coffee and a tostada, I know the stores that will be open Monday, and
who will stay closed till Tuesday morning, I can navigate the supermarket
without pulling out my Blackberry to translate. Then, without anything
happening, I become overly conscious of my setting. I’m not a Sevillana, I am
not fluent, I don’t look Spanish, I don’t know where or how to send a postcard,
and I can’t just feel around in my wallet for the correct change, because I
don’t know what the coins are worth without reading them. This ride usually
ends when I become too overwhelmed or when someone speaks to me. And it usually
only happens when I sink too far into my mind, and stop interacting with
people. It is an unexplainable phenomenon that isn’t happening everyday, but it
still consumes me. I know that at one point, they will probably stop, or at
least not be as intense: once I do know how to send a postcard, and how to
blend in as a Sevillana as much as possible or at least how to look the least
American.
I will have a new post tomorrow (Friday) about my visita today to Alcazar.
Besos
xoxox
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